31 days of Meals 4 Sharing:: “I’m not comfortable with bringing someone a meal”…
Right now I want you to hold both hands out in front of you, palms open and facing up, let your eyes go heavy, almost closed, take a deep breath through your mouth, let it out through your nose….do that again, clear your mind of any anxiety, stress or fear you have about providing a meal for another human being. Need another breath or two? Go ahead take another breath, it’s ok. Seriously, you can do this.
You may think that I’m Miss Social Sally. That I can talk to anyone. That I’m bold, and courageous about approaching people. I bring meals to people all the time, it’s easy for me. WRONG. The truth is I’m a total stress-ball about asking someone if I can bring them a meal. Thank the good Lord for email, texting, and Facebook because if I had to actually call people on the phone and really speak to them, I would be a mess. Out of control sweaty mess. (FYI: for those of you that don’t know me very well yet, know this, I’m a sweater. Full on squirt out the armpits sweater, drip down the back of the neck and between the bosoms kinda sweater. I know TMI.) Well, I can honestly say I probably wouldn’t be sharing as many meals as I do. I know, right?! I’m pathetic! It’s true.
For many years I would make a meal and then ask Kenny to deliver it for me. He’s good with people. He know’s what to say. He’s great at small talk. Being a physician I almost got the feeling people rather have him bring them their meal anyway. But over the years Kenny has gotten busier with his work and I can’t always depend on him to make my deliveries so I have to do it myself. However, I often hog tie one or two of my kiddos and make them go with me.
What are your fears about sharing a meal?
~Do you fear that they will not like the meal you have prepared them? No one will eat it, and it will go to waste.
~Are you afraid you might offend them by asking if you can bring them a meal?
~Are you afraid they will find one of Fido’s hairs in their soup, or worse yet one of yours? Yikes! (This used to be be a rather large fear of mine. One word. Hairnet. My golden retriever wears a giant hairnet! JK)
~Does it scare you to think someone might say no?
~Are you afraid of giving up some of your precious time?
I have one comment to make….get over yourself. This isn’t about you. I speak from experience….these are some of my fears too. So what if they don’t like your food, you did your best. Maybe what meant more to them than the meal was that you cared enough to share it, or that while you were there you ask “is there anything else I can do for you, how can I pray for you?” Bringing someone a meal sometimes opens doors to new meaningful friendships.
I do have ONE rule: When bringing someone a meal DO NOT make apologies for the meal you prepared. “This didn’t quite turn out right, or I over cooked the noodles, etc. etc.” Chances are they will never be able to tell….so don’t bring it to their attention. Especially, if you don’t know them well, they have no reference point to know what the meal could have been.
Would you be offended if someone offered to bring you a meal? Most likely not. Unless of course they said, “Hey your kid told me you were a sucky cook, I thought I’d help your family out and make you one of my gourmet meals.” Well now that might offend someone, but I can’t think of any other reason someone would be offended. Don’t be afraid of offending. It’s a silly fear…….but I can relate, remember I have had all these fears too.
The time factor is scary, so little time, so much to do UGH! I will talk more about this one later in the 31 days.
So what if you offer to bring someone a meal and they say no. I have had people say no before. No, is hard to hear. Once again I say, get over yourself. Move on. Don’t get your feelings all hurt. Don’t take it personally.
Last but not least the hair fear. This may be something you never considered or feared, but now that I have brought it up you are totally freaked out! OH MY GOSH have I brought someone a meal and they found my hair in it???? HELP me Rhonda!!! Calgon take me away! I know…I know…I’m sorry I had to bring it up. But it used to be a real fear of mine, so much so I actually, are you seated? I actually would say, “I hope you don’t find a hair in your dinner.” when I delivered their meal. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??? You can go now, if you have heard enough of what a pathetic, messed up spazball I am, I will not hold it against you. I am just being honest. I am not sure when I got over this fear. I have done alot of work on myself on not stressing over the little things in life. And hair my friend is seriously a little thing in life.
Oh Gee I got a little wordy today. If you are one of the many who are not comfortable with bringing someone a meal, I hope this helped you to realize your fears will hold you back from blessing someone more than you could ever imagine!
Take a giant leap out of your comfort zone and share a meal!
I would love to hear your thoughts…and if you want to talk more feel free to email me!
Deep breath…aahhhh. Have a relaxing Sunday!
Sheila
I have shared this post at Women Living Well Wednesdays.
Love this post! This is so true for me as well. I do make meals to share, but it is always stressful and scary for me because of all those reasons you mentioned. I make meals for people if they are going through a tough time or sickness or something else that might make their life more difficult, but I think I would do it more often if I could get over myself a bit more!
Crystal,
So glad you stopped by! So happy to hear you have a heart for meal sharing. Every Friday I do a Meals 4 Sharing link up, I would love for you to link up any ideas or recipes you may want to share.
Have a great night! ; D
Sheila
This is some great advice. I have a feeling that some of the things you wrote about are what my volunteers are thinking. They all think it is great that there is a group to give meals to new parents in our community, but some are reluctant to volunteer. I am going to share this in hopes that it will bring more confidence to the group. Thanks for sharing!
I had to go all the way back to Day 2 of your meal sharing month and comment…..I stepped out of MY own comfort zone this weekend in bringing someone a meal. I absolutely love bringing someone a meal; new baby, moving day, sick child, etc……death is the hardest one for me. We spent our Saturday this weekend up north at our cottage raking leaves and shutting things down. You can only imagine how I looked at the end of the day, but the kids and I jumped ont he quads and headed down to rake our neighbor’s yard. Our neighbor (husband/dad) died suddenly in September. And while the kiddos raked, we talked and talked. She shared so many things with me; I told her how I’ve been praying for her. It was such a wonderful afternoon. And as I was leaving I told her how I had baked her some breads. It had been 8 weeks since her husband died and she was just “busy” taking care of things. She has a 13 yr old son and that his favorite bread is banana bread. I double batched the banana bread. I will never again be afraid to take a meal to someone after they have lost a loved one! Thanks again for the month of posts…….they were awesome. Love ya! Shell
My Biggest problems are ;
1: *What* to take and how to package it.
2: Do I take it hot out of the oven ready to eat or ready for the oven?
But the hair thing? YIKES! LOL
LOL…I so love how real you are and PLEASE feel free to practice on me any day of the week….all the books on FEAR say that practice is the only way to overcome! I will take a meal, hair or no hair, from you any day of the week.
Oh my goodness, I would have never thought you, most wonderful cook in the world, had issues with meals… I LOVED everything you brought me and my family (if I decided to share the yummies with them…)
I feel terrible now because I called you and canceled on the last few meals when you set up the meal ministry for my family after my last surgery! I just couldn’t in good faith keep accepting meals from friends who were busy with their own families, when I was feeling good enough to go shopping at the mall… I was truly thankful for everything you and all my friends did for me when I needed help! Thanks again, from me and everyone else who has been blessed with a wonderful meal made by you!!!
Kristen, Thanks for the kind words dear friend! Hugs : D
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has the “hair in food” fear. Thankfully, that has not stopped me from giving meals. I can’t wait to read more of your tips this month!
(P.S. I really like your blog!)
I have all the fears you mentioned and then some more. Like, what if my meal sends them to the hospital, or worse. And I am so like you – my hubby is also great with people – I pretend well, but underneath I’m wishing I was home under the covers reading The Wouldbegoods with my children. But when I have made meals (with no apologies) it always turns out better than imagined. And I love blessing others. You are so encouraging, thank you!
Your pup is precious!
xoxo michele
I love “the hair fear”! I have dealt with that fear myself. This is a great topic, and I have to say as one who has been brought meals many times….even if I didn’t care for the food, I was SO thankful to have food on the table and my family fed that nothing else mattered. Providing a meal for someone really is a huge blessing, especially if they are in a season of illness or high stress.
Oh boy do I need this series! Looking forward to it. Thanks in advance for your time and thought put into it.
Great post Friend. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pic of your sweet pup. Keep up the series… loving it already!
Great post, girl. I think one of the reasons people don’t pursue taking meals is they are just too busy. I’ve always heard, ‘I can barely get a meal on the table for my family.’ I love it that we can double up! Can’t wait for your series, girl. I know this post has already encouraged others!!! xo