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Two Women

BySheila
29 Comments

Ten years ago today we brought Cecelia home.  She was five weeks old and weighed 8 lbs.  We met at the adoption agency, just Ken and I our social worker, and Cece’s tummy momma (birth mother) and her social worker.  I remember the days my three biological children were born pretty clearly, but the day, this adoption day, is etched in my mind like no other.  How can so much joy and sadness converge on one day.  Just thinking back on the hour we spent with the this woman drains me, emotionally and physically.

Our adoption is semi-open.  We are able to contact her and she us through the adoption agency.  We are on a first name basis.  She does not know where we live nor we her.  When Cece is 18 she will be legally eligible and able to contact her tummy momma.  I don’t know if she will.  I hope she does.  I hope she takes me with her.  I so long to hug this woman, that gave me her child to love and care for, again…..to be mine, all mine.

Adoption I’ve found that it is something that many have a hard time getting their mind around.  They think that they except it, but when it comes right down to the idea of someone giving their child away……they frown on that person, they think who could do that, what kind of human being could actually hand her child over to complete strangers, and in our case not even get to choose us…..we were it!   We have had the gamete of questions asked over the last 10 years that have shocked me.

I’m not judging.  Please believe I am not judging.  I just want everyone to know this: God has a plan. We live in a broken world where things aren’t all cut and dry and perfect.  Sometimes there is pain, loss, and hurt before there can be joy, and healing.  And although the adoption road, for me as a mother, as been riddled with self-doubt, guilt and tears, mostly it has been full of purpose, laughter, and joy!

A women at the church we attended gave me this poem, shortly after we brought Cece home.   At the time, when I read it, it made me smile.  But now, after 10 years, when I read this poem, I feel as if there is a bag of sand on my chest and the back of my eyes are prickling with tears ready to spring forth…not because I’m sad, maybe a little overwhelmed, but because now I understand.

This thing called adoption is a journey.  I want to share the poem with you….

Two Women
Once there were two women who never knew each other.
one you do not remember, the other you call mother.

One became your guiding star; the other became your sun.
the first gave you life and the second taught you to live in it.

The first gave you a need for love and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent; the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears.
One gave you up—it was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears, the age-old question through the years,

Heredity or Environment—which are you the product of?
Neither my darling, neither; just two different kinds of love.

Anonymous

A product of two different kinds of love, that would be our Cece.

 September 2002

We love you girl!  Happy Adoption Day!

 

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29 Comments

  1. Hello, I wanted to let you know that I admire you. I found your corn bake on pinterest and then got here, I don’t know if God is speaking to me because we have thought of adopting a second child. We have a daughter and I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes while pregnant and still have the condition to this day, so we have been talking of adopting, but my husband resists because we already have a biological child and he thinks it may be too painful for her to handle… I don’t know I think many little ones are waiting to have a home for real and all the love and understanding and a family life that all human beings deserve, but my husband does not agree so much on having both biological and adopted children.
    I think personally that it is better to put your child on adoption and give them away than abortion… so I am all for adoption.
    Thank you so much for sharing this. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Guillermina,
      I am so glad you found me. My biological children have had absolutely no pain associated with the adoption of our fourth child. I guess when you have more than one child you realize that whether the child is adopted or biological there is a transition period, or adjustment time when things are new and different it is that way regardless of where the child comes from. This is definitely something I have heard many men are concerned about, not having a connection with there adopted child like the connection they have with biological. I pray that you are able to work this out. Keep me posted as to what you decide. Many blessings to you!
      Sheila

      Reply

  4. Oh, Sheila, my eyes are filled with tears and my heart is full for you. What a beautiful story and what a gift – for everyone. Thank you so much for sharing this story. Your daughter is beautiful – and so are you and your husband and your family!

    Reply

  5. Oh my gosh, my friend, I am sitting here with tears dripping down my face. Your beautiful emotional post about your sweet girl is extra loaded for me. My “little brother” (who’s now 37) was adopted into our family when he was three. Just this past weekend, he met his “tummy mama” as well as a brother and a half brother. They welcomed him home like the Prodigal Son. Needless to say, I am so thrilled for him but the whole past week has been highly emotional. I’ve never read that poem before but I’m going to pass it along to my Mom. I think it would mean a lot to her to read it. Happy Adoption Day to Cece and your family!!! xoxo Carrie

    Reply

    1. Carrie, I had forgotten that adoption is a part of your families story too! I am sure your mom, even more than I, will be able to appreciate that poem. Love ya, Sheila

      Reply

  8. Oh my your story about the adoption journey with CeCe is so loving and touching. The picture of CeCe at the end is just precious. My Mother was adopted and I couldn’t help thinking what her birth Mother must have felt as she handed my Mother away that final day. The poem really captures what both sides must really feel in their hearts. Thanks so much for sharing your story!

    Reply

  10. Happy Gotcha day to your family!

    (That’s what we say around here, too. Ours for our two blessings is in October– we do it big, too! 🙂 Dayspring even has “Gotcha Day” cards!)

    Reply

  11. Sheila,
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! My youngest sister has been through the adoption process twice, most recently earlier this year. Happy “Gotch Day” Cece!

    Karen

    Reply

    1. Karen,
      Hello! So good to hear from you. I love that “Gotcha Day”! Thanks for stopping in and reading. Sheila

      Reply

    1. Jennifer, You are very welcome. Sometimes it not always easy to share, but I appreciate your encouragement and taking the time to read. Sheila

      Reply

    1. Kim, We did have a great day! We went to the zoo, and now she is washing the zoo stink off in the pool with friends! One more celebration tonight she chose Thai for dinner, yeh me! Thanks for stopping in. xoxox Sheila

      Reply

  16. Cece is such a special and perfect addition to your family Sheil. This is such a nice post…it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about how God has worked things out so perfectly for you and for her. Can’t imagine your family without her in it! We love you CeCers.

    Reply

    1. Thanks Jodi. Can’t believe it’s been a decade ago already that your mom and dad had her at their house! You guys were such a great support to me in those early days. Thanks so much! xoxoxo

      Reply

  17. Oh my. I can barely type through my tears, Sheila. Thank you for sharing this story. It’s inspiring and touching and so honest. I admire you, so, so much!

    Reply